There are times when my life feels like a jumble. Experiences, people, conditions, and things are mixed together without any plan or pattern or purpose. At least none that jump immediately to mind. I have a need for understanding, for finding the symmetry in haphazard reality.
This sits deep within me and it's not always easy. Or helpful. It pushes me to define everything in front of me in terms of what I know from the past. That leaves little room for the new or unusual delight, or even the learning that comes from discomfort.
When those feelings capture me, when the need for order or understanding (or, ultimately, control) becomes more important than seeing what's directly in front of me, I have learned to notice that there's a bigger story I ought to be paying attention to. So what can I do? Being quiet and attentive, calm and inquiring - those all help.
And when I am able to do those things, generally I notice that while the jumble is still there, it has attractive, even beautiful moments, often many of them and more evocative than I ever would have imagined when I viewed them initially.
As you must know, it is a constant practice. Blessings,