Yes, uninspired. Another walk to the Charles River Basin, another look at the dock, another boat tied up there, another shot, another two shots actually. It's not a bad shot I suppose, just something I've seen before, lots of times before.
I've been feeling uninspired lately. The glass is actually half empty, maybe even a bit less than half. There is so much going on in my life that the attention I can pay to any one thing is mimimal. That's not a philosophy, it's a survival technique. I work to keep my balance even though I seem to do it by going on automatic pilot, as though the balancing is somehow easier to achieve when I pay less attention. (Lordy, that almost makes sense...)
And I notice this in my sits as well - I've scaled back meditation time to 30 minutes from 45: I found that toward the end I was not sitting so much as waiting, waiting for the chime that said I could move on to whatever was next. The 30 minutes is more manageable, especially in the morning. I am better able to be quiet. Or, rather, quieter...
This frame of mind comes from time to time. So what do I do? I know the answer, it's just not what I want to hear. Just keep at it, I just keep at it. Uninspired? Fine. Keep shooting. Mind wandering untethered? Fine. Keep sitting.
I surely know about yoga off the mat as well as on, and I know that I am practicing the disciplines in every moment of every day. But what I want is a bit of transcendence, a quick hit that makes me feel special, that reminds me why I do all this, that keeps me sane. A bit of candy...
It's not in my control, as the universe seems to delight in reminding me. What happens is what happens. And when the time comes for inspiration, insight, opening, epiphany, transcendence, well it comes...and goes. So the best hope I have is to keep doing what I know to do and to live - not to wait, but to live. WIth the camera, with the sit, with all of it.
And so I will.